Meet Mister Manners Thomas Farley
Whenever I have a question about etiquette or the right thing to do in a sticky situation, I always reach out to my friend Mister Manners, Thomas P. Farley. He’s one of the nation’s best-known arbiters on matters of contemporary behavior. As a speaker and workshop leader, he works with companies to help their employees achieve greater levels of understanding and communication in the workplace. As a regular guest on the NBC Today show, among other media outlets, he speaks to TV audiences on issues of common consideration and modern-day manners. On top of that, he’s kind, fun and super adorable!! Need advice? Check him out at www.whatmannersmost.com and follow him on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
Mr. Farley was nice enough to help me with some of my biggest issues! Applying makeup in public, trolling on the internet, and of course his fav beauty tip for fabulous hair!
Here’s his 5 in 5 Celebrity Snapshot!
- Where does your passion for etiquette & manners come from?
Growing up in a family of six, consideration and respect were essential means of keeping the peace. Not that my siblings and I were perfect, but “please” and “thank you” were encouraged, while phrases such as “shut-up” were outright banned. Nightly family dinners were a requisite part of life, as were lively conversation and storytelling. Toss in my sixteen years of Catholic schooling (most of that time spent wearing a necktie) and you have the basis for my career today, one dedicated to advocating thoughtfulness and getting along.
- What do you think about women who apply their lipstick in public? Like at a dinner table in a restaurant? On the subway?
I believe it’s important for both men and women to be ready to take on the world before they open their front door to start their day. That means setting aside the time to complete one’s skincare, hair and beauty routine at home. I don’t take issue with someone who needs to reapply a bit of lipstick in public—as long as it’s not during a meeting or over a meal. Makeup should never make an appearance when food is present. But lipstick is where I draw the line….applying eye-liner, blush or mascara out in the open is a definite no-no. More than anything, it presents you as disorganized and unprepared. If your make-up needs a pick-me-up, head to the rest room to do so.
- In this day of social media trolling- Any advice on how to handle haters?
Cultivate real, in-person friendships that nurture your sense of self. Pay less attention to how many likes your posts get or how many ill-willed comments strangers hurl your way. Those are people who clearly have nothing better to do, and I genuinely feel sorry for them.
- What is the biggest etiquette faux pas that you see in your everyday world? What should people do to change it?
As a daily rider of the New York City subway system, I think it’s a case study in how etiquette is pushed to the brink when we are stressed or placed in uncomfortable situations. Behavior of otherwise good people can turn quickly selfish, with actions such as pushing to get on, shoving to get off, playing overly loud music, cursing, blocking doors, manspreading, staring, not giving up one’s seat to someone who might need it more than you… and yes, putting on full makeup. And yet, I have also witnessed some of the nicest interactions you can imagine on subways: locals giving tourists sightseeing advice, young children offering a seat to someone who is elderly, people keeping their cool and offering help when a fellow passenger falls into them if the train has jerked to an unexpected stop. It’s a reminder to me that even in the least pleasant of situations, patience and common courtesy make such a difference. Being rude and getting angry is no path to feeling at peace.
- With the fabulous head of hair you have- And I know that you NEVER kiss & tell- But will you share your secret beauty tip that keeps it so handsome?
Awwww, thank you, Harvey! As anyone with curly hair will tell you, it can be a blessing and a curse. Walk outside on a super-windy day and suddenly your well-styled coif looks like an out-of-control ’fro. Manageability is always an issue with curly hair. I think that’s the reason so many men opt keep their wavy hair short and why so many women live for their blowouts. But with the right haircut—I go to Devachan, in New York, which cuts only curly hair—the right products (I like Shea Moisture’s Coconut & Hibiscus Curl & Style Milk), and a bit of practice and patience, a head of curly hair can go from looking like a mop to looking like a million. (Most days anyway.) And on the days when it doesn’t, you just have to embrace that day’s look, and hope others will too!
Good advice indeed! Until next time! Be kind to each other!
Celebrity Snap Shot by Harvey Helms