Category Archives: Beauty

Tech Etiquette Thomas Farley To The Rescue!


Touchscreen smartphone with cloud of colorful application icons isolated on white background

Okay girls! Fasten your seat belts!  I’ve got a big gay bee in my Alexander McQueen bonnet!  When did the world become one big living room?  I’m in an airport trying to relax before getting on a plane.  I have my favorite magazines and Smart Water ready for my 5 hour flight.  I decide to start with Allure magazine to get my beauty fix prior to boarding.  I lean back, take a big breath and open the magazine to see what Editor Linda Wells is telling me I can’t live without.  Love Linda!  I’ve never missed a single issue of Allure.

All of the sudden I look up and see this woman walking down the concourse screaming into her cell phone.  I roll my eyes and  then go back to my relaxing magazine.  Her voice is getting louder and closer.  And closer.  Yes, Miss Big Mouth decides that the seat beside me is where she’ll continue screaming into her cell phone.  She also has so many TUMI carry on bags that she could open up her own luggage  shop right where we’re sitting.  Still screaming as she sits , she bangs me with two of those bags.  She doesn’t say ,”Excuse me”, so I shoot her a look that says, “Queen,  don’t step on my last nerve and interrupt my Allure time!”  She’s oblivious.  I think she’s yelling at her husband because I hear “THE KIDS”…..VAGINAL DRYNESS”…..YOUR MOTHER!”  This might as well be her living room at home.  Technology has removed so many barriers to communicating with the world.  That’s great! Unfortunately it has also done away with certain respectful boundaries and manners that keep us civilized.  What to do?  I know!  I’ll call Thomas Farley!  Mister Manners himself.  His book, Modern manners: The Thinking Person’s Guide to Social Graces, is a must have in navigating today’s ultra-expressive social media world.  Get the book!


Thomas is beyond fabulous!  He was originally creator and editor of Town & Country Magazines column “Social Graces” which grew into his best seller  Modern Manners.  He’s also the founder and producer of New York Insider TV.  His take on people, special events and current issues keeps me in the know!  If it’s happening, Thomas knows about it and keeps us up to date.  I also give him the “Best TV Hair Award!”  Curly locks to die for!  His next book “Please Check Your Blackberry At The Door” is coming soon!  When I spoke with the charming Thomas, he said, “Harvey,  I hear this all the time!  Technology is new and always changing so people are navigating this new area of manners.

Here are a few tech social graces to consider:

* Just try to keep your voice down- people have a tendency to enter their own personal worlds on the phone and they forget how loud they are.  Especially in noisy places.

*Know when to simply put the phone away- movie theaters and the cash register at your local Starbucks for starters.  Also there’s nothing more annoying than standing in a crowded elevator with someone just blabbing away!

*What about just hanging out with someone?-Putting your phone on the table like it’s another guest is a no-no.  It’s like your saying “You’re not interesting enough to hold my attention for our entire lunch.”

*Vibrate is always appropriate-it minimizes the disturbance when you receive calls.  Finally, Thomas said, “Always remember  people are more important than devices.  If you follow that rule, you can probably solve 90 % of etiquette when it comes to Tech social graces!”  Thanks Thomas!  You’re amazing!  I have one piece of advice as well knowing you girls the way I do!  If you’re PMSing and your cell phone rings, look at the caller ID first before answering.  If it’s someone that your hormones are going to let “have it”,  let voice mail take it.  It will save you some “I’m sorry” the next day!

Don’t text and drive Gorgeous!  I want you safe!





OMG! Harvey Goes Back Into The Closet!


Beautiful girl thinking what to dress in walk-in closet

Well . . . not really, but I knew it would get your attention!  Before I give you my Spring Fashion Preview , we have to do spring cleaning!  Yes Girls.  As your Cyber Main Gay it’s my duty to tell you that it’s time to go into your closets and do the inventory to make space for spring.  Knowing my girls, as I do, I know that some of you are ready to deal with it, while others are afraid because they haven’t done away with anything since junior high!  Sorry I can’t be there to be your clothes Nazi, but here’s some advice to get you through it.

  1. Ask a friend to help you make the hard decisions! – Get your local main gay or a girl friend who is not an enabler to help you sort through your clothes and make decisions about what stays and what goes! This includes all your clothes, shoes, and accessories.  Don’t hold anything back!
  1. Set the criteria low for letting go of your clothes! – This is the hardest part, but when you are done you’ll feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders!

* Size Range – Decide a range of sizes that suits your body throughout the year.  And no I don’t mean 4 up to 12!  It’s reasonable to keep a range of sizes, for example if you are a 4, keep up to 6 just in case.  Any larger and you’re just an box of Oreos away from being a 12 again.  The only exception is when designer sizes are funny.  A Calvin 6 may be a Ralph 8. Don’t cheat here!  The clothes Gods are watching!

* Current Condition of Clothes –  Are sweaters peeling?  Has a garment faded or stretched out?  I’m sorry if it’s your favorite but it has to go.  Shoes that looked like they’ve walked a million miles. Toss them!  Clothes that are from the 80’s or 90’s?  I’m not talking great vintage, I’m talking shoulder pads from the TV show Dynasty!  Stop whining, they have to go.  Clothes with sales tags that have sat in your closet for a year?  Gotta go.  You’re not going to wear it!

* Sentimental Clothes – The Christmas sweater Grandma knitted you, the horrible bejeweled blouse your Mother-in-law gave you!  The logo polo shirts from sales meetings.  Your wedding gown.  Your cheerleader uniform.  They have a place and it’s called storage.  Wrap them in tissue and put them in the attic or basement.  It frees up space for new fabulousness!

  1. Bring large, extra strength trash bags to your closet to handle the discards and hangers! Buy hangers that match and yes I am Mommy Dearest! NO WIRE HANGERS!!!  EVER!!!!
  1. Clothes that have to go! – make 2 piles! 1 pile for clothes to go to your favorite charity, for people who really need your clothes, and a pile for consignment stores. You can get a return on your investment buy selling your better designer pieces. You never know, it could buy you that must have Chloe bag for spring!  Pack them up and send them on their way!  Most good consignment stores will have you sign a contract.  They normally keep 20% of the sale.

The hard part is done and now your closet is ready for you to build a wardrobe that is current and suits who you are today.  Yes Gorgeous!  It’s time to shop!   In one of my next columns I’ll give some advice on building a stress-free foundational wardrobe!

Come out of the closet!