Category Archives: Reflective

GPS For Aging! Hurry Up Bill Gates!!

Girls,  I’ve been crazy getting my book ready for publication!  The book, which is the first in 3, chronicles my journey to the top of the lipstick pyramid and all the life drama that accompanied me on the way up!  I’m 19 on page one,  ending with me at age 39.   If you ever want intensive therapy, writing a book about yourself should be a definite option.  The number of Beauty Witches trying to keep me down and the incredible number of “Mr. Rights” I sent packing caused some major reflection last night, while I was using my Clarisonic cleansing brush (www.clarisonic.com) with Lancome’s Absolue Premium Bx foam cleanser.  I stopped and looked at my face.  With the book fresh on my mind, I thought, “I look pretty good to be almost 50, with all I’ve been through in my life. ”  Would I want to be 30 again?  No!  Would I like to have the 28 inch waist again? Yes!  While I’m on the subject, I must get something off my chest!  Sex and the City 2!  I love these girls who are now full fledged women!  Since I am the new up and coming gay Carrie Bradshaw, I took offense to the age jokes that dominated all the film reviews.  Now the plot was a little crazy, but the main emphasis on how the girls are ready for assisted living?  What?  Just like you, I didn’t miss an episode with advice on how to handle dating, careers and relationships.  These fabulous beauties have gotten older.  So what!  What’s wrong with us?    Now don’t get me wrong, my column focuses on how to be your best including keeping father time at bay.  Does that mean I should make Kim Kardashian my new hero because she’s young?  That would be a polite, “No.”

 

As fate would have it, I turned on the  NBC Today Show, sipping  my first cup of morning coffee, and Meredith Vierra is interviewing Tracey Jackson, author of Between a Rock and a Hot Place! Why 50 is not the New 30.  Granted we do look younger today, due to incredible health and dermatological technologies, but our life experience continues even if our faces and bodies don’t show it.  Inside vs. outside?  Seismic changes!  Are we having to care for our parents now?  Did we divorce and find ourselves dating in this new environment?  Loss of job looking for work in this youth oriented market?  It’s enough to make you confused and depressed if your expectation is that at 50 you should feel and act like someone 30.

 

Tracey said we need to take care of our health first, followed with changing parts of our lives that aren’t working for us any more.  If we have 30 more years on the Earth, how do we want to spend it?  What’s our plan?  Stay in a horrific marriage?  A job that’s sucking the life out of us? Not me!  And knowing you girls, you don’t want it either!  Tomorrow is seconds away!  It’s time to plan just like we did in our 20’s.  What do we want to do?  How do we want to spend our valuable time?  Here’s the interview so you can see it for yourself.

 

I know what I need!  I need the new GPS system for aging to help me know where I’m going.  Just like you, I want to look good yet I want to be remembered for making a difference in the world.  The friends I trudged this road of life with helping each other every step of the way.  Thanks Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha for showing us that when the life gets tough, the girls can throw on their Jimmy Choo’s and get it done together!

 

XO

Harvey

 

 

 

 

 

Channeling Love 2011- The Best Valentines Ball Ever!

As your Cyber Main Gay, it may come as no surprise to you that I love fantasy.  Love it!  After seeing the Wizard of Oz for the first time at 4 years old, I’ve always wanted to go “Over the Rainbow.”  I know that’s over the top, even for me, but I can’t help it!  Unlike Dorothy, I’ve worked in the beauty industry for 30 years, and I’m not afraid of witches,  good or bad.  I’m accustomed to those wicked  girls!  I can totally understand having a cat fight over Ruby Slippers!  There are a few witches that I’d like to melt with water, but you’ll have to wait for my book to read about that!  Growing up in a small city in North Carolina in the 1960’s and 70’s, I would constantly imagine myself as one of the characters in my favorite movies and TV shows to escape the boredom.  Just like Samantha Stevens on Bewitched, I wish I could twitch my nose and transport myself to those fabulous imaginary TV locations.  Thanks to the magical couple Jillian Manus and Alan Salzman, my wish finally came true!!  I was lucky enough to attend their spectacular Valentines Day Ball–“Channeling Love 2011,”  the 6th annual glamorous black tie event raising hundreds of thousands of dollars for the Stanford Cancer Center.  The gala started as a tribute to Alan’s mother, Helen Salzman, who survived cancer with the help of the Center.  With a ticket price of $1500 per person and with every penny going to cancer research, Jillian and Alan are able to raise hundreds of thousands of dollars each year.

My magical journey begins as I pull up to their beautiful Atherton, California mansion.  As I arrive, 8 handsome gentlemen, costumed as characters from the  popular 70’s show “The Love Boat” offer to valet park my car.  Wow.  I’ve always wanted to be Julie the Cruise Director!  As I ascend up a red carpet at least a mile long (or so it seemed), I pass through a gigantic TV and a rainbow.  An  actual rainbow!!  Oh Toto!  I have a feeling we’re not in Atherton any more!  I’ve entered the magical  land of television past!  My ruby red path is lined with too many televisions to count, all playing classics like Good Times, Charlie’s Angels, Gilligan’s Island, The Brady Bunch, CHIPS . . . .  They’re channeling all my favorites!!  A few steps further and I’m stopped dead in my tracks!  There it is!  I’ve always wanted to take a ride on that!  It’s the mod colored bus from The Partridge Family!  I’m getting ready to have a big gay fit!!  Is David Cassidy in there?  I can’t breathe!  After a few deep breaths,  I walk through the front door and see Jillian and Alan being photographed with their beautiful children.  Now I had heard of Jillian because she’s famous in the literary and business world, but we’d never met.  Since I’m covering the party for my column, I was so fortunate to have a few moments with Jillian and Alan before the party is in full swing.  My fantasy continues as I look at the incredible white jeweled gown she’s wearing.  I knew immediately it was custom couture.  She dreamed and designed this gown and designer Mark Zunino made it a reality.  As I look down, I see white Jimmy Choo heels.  Perfection.

 

On a serious note, Jillian told me “This party is a blessing.  Blessings manifest through people! ”  I love that!  During her on-stage appearance, Jillian noted that the guests blessed them so that they could pass it along to the Stanford Cancer Center.  She described the center as “the most amazing place where patients are people and they are cared for from their hearts to their heads to their bodies.”  This definitely is a huge blessing for many!  Jillian also spoke to me about her work to empower women.  I could spend all year writing about this amazing woman, so I’m sure you’ll hear more about her in future columns.    Jillian’s husband Alan, CEO of VantagePoint Venture Partners, is very handsome in elegant black tie, bone-shaped studs and guy shoes that are every bit as beautiful as Jillian’s Jimmy Choos.  When I asked him about this being the 6th annual event, he told me it has become an institution of help!  I asked about the party planning, he laughed and said, “I’m married to the Genie!”  Jillian and special event master Robert Fountain created this incredible fantasy.  Jillian told me, “This  flash back to TV favorites was a nod to a time when things were simpler.”  She’s absolutely right.  Everyone at this party has the look of happiness from another era. Big eyes filled with child-like innocence.  Laughter everywhere.   As we finish speaking, I begin to wish  that these two generous warm souls could be my Fairy Godmother and Father!  Unfortunately I left my magic wand in my other handbag!  As I continue my journey the surprises keep popping up with TV stars, yummy food and every kind of drink imaginable. Here are some pics so you can see me help Lucy in the chocolate factory from I Love Lucy, square dancing with Grannie and Jed Clampett from The Beverly Hillbillies, laughing with Roseanne Rosannadanna and a Conehead from SNL, vamping with Morticia and Gomez from The Adams Family, flirting with Gilligan and Ginger from Gilligan’s Island, flexing muscles with Ponch from CHIPS and kissing Archie Bunker just like Sammy Davis, Jr. did on All in the Family in the 70’s!!  What a fabulous night.  I don’t want it to end!  Unlike Dorothy, I don’t want to click my heels together 3 times and say “There’s no place like home.”  I want to stay in TV Land with my new magical Fairy Godparents helping rid the world of cancer!  Thanks Alan and Jillian for your generosity and the best party I’ve ever attended!!!  Here’s the link if you want to donate [add link]

Happy Valentines Day Gorgeous!

XO

Harvey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is the clutter in your life making you fat? Do you face your stuff or stuff your face? Find out!

 

Hi Ladies! So your Cyber Main Gay has been very busy with the NEW “ASK HARVEY” advice column for Betty. Look for the first video installment next week! Thanks for all the facebook messages and twitter drama! So many questions to choose from. I’ll try to get to them all. In the mean time, I’ve come across a new idea about losing weight. Like many of you, I’ve tried every diet on the market. I’ve decided that beauty is not a number. Not your age or dress size. It’s about finding a healthy weight and a radiant complexion!

 

While pondering this question, I was so fortunate to meet Dorothy Breininger, one of  the expert organizers on A&E’s Emmy-nominated TV series “Hoarders,” and discover her new book, STUFF YOUR FACE OR FACE YOUR STUFF: The Organized Approach to Lose Weight by Decluttering Your Life which just hit May 7th.
Dorothy recently lost 75lbs. Her new book focuses on getting healthy via the same de-cluttering and organizing mindset she brings to her work with clients and on the show. Dorothy talks about her journey a bit in this wonderful book trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aTgN1clkME
Here is a bit more about Dorothy’s story:

As one of the stars of a successful TV show, a three-time recipient of NAPO’s “Most Innovative Organizer Award” and a high-energy, sought-after national speaker, Dorothy Breininger’s career was soaring. Yet underneath her sunny disposition Dorothy carried around a secret shame of her own–food addiction. It wasn’t until the third season of “Hoarders” as she was talking to people with hoarding issues that she had an epiphany. Just as these people were buying, collecting, and hoarding stuff to fill a void, lessen anxiety, and reconnect with happier times in life–so was she. But instead of hoarding possessions Dorothy was hoarding fat on her body and it was making her very unhappy. It wasn’t until she realized that she had to tackle her demons head-on that Dorothy learned to face her own clutter, and lost 75 pounds in the process.

 

Pretty amazing! My big gay life is full of over whelming clutter! Dorothy helped me see my clutter has categories- Emotional, Physical and Environmental clutter. Who knew? Stack of unpaid bills? Clothes everywhere? Toxic relationship[s]? Sound familiar? In the US, dieting is going down and weight is going up. Are we all so stressed and overwhelmed?I know for myself that a box of Chees-Its is constantly calling my name. Moderation is obviously not my middle name!

 

Check out Dorothy’s book and see if it applies to you! If not you, we all have girlfriends with clutter drama! I did and I’m glad to say that I’ve lost 28 pounds. The funny thing is that I’m finding more happiness too. Thanks Dorothy!

 

Look for ASK HARVEY next week!

xo

Harvey

Great skin NOW for under $15!

All right girls! On a tight budget? Let’s get down and dirty. Well, not really since we’re talking skin care. The key is SIMPLICITY. Less is more? Not more money though thankfully. If you’re one of my beauty junkie friends who need the 12 step regimen to satisfy the Goddess in you, obviously this column may not be your cup of tea. However, you may add some of these products to your beauty arsenals as you please.  Ready? Put some lip gloss on those gorgeous lips of yours because we’re going shopping. Get into your car and set your GPS for your favorite discount or drug store. If you’re an online girl just Google the following products for the best deal. Don’t forget to look for the coupon’s of the moment on Groupon. Here’s your shopping list:

 

Harvey’s Best Budget Busting Skin Care Buys Under $15

 

Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser- $5.97

Best all around cleanser for ALL skin types. Even the most sensitive of skins. http://www.walmart.com/ip/10317217?adid=22222222227010117941&wmlspartner=wlpa&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=&wl3=17421730750&wl4=&wl5=pla&veh=sem

 

Neutrogena All In One Acne Control-$11.99

Hydrates, clears blemishes, including past acne discoloration all in one step. http://www.target.com/p/neutrogena-all-in-1-acne-control-facial-treatment-1-0-oz/-/A-13931513

 

Garnier Nutritioniste Skin Renew Dark Spot Corrector-$14.99

All over brightening and skin renewal to alleviate sun damage. Reveals a more radiant, even complexion. http://www.target.com/p/garnier-nutritioniste-skin-renew-dark-spot-corrector-1-7-fl-oz/-/A-13657932?ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001&AFID=Google_PLA_df&LNM=%7C13657932&CPNG=health%20beauty&ci_sku=13657932&ci_gpa=pla&ci_kw=

 

Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry Touch SPF 45-$7.00

Best sunblock ever. Invisible to  the feel and touch. Beautiful light matte finish that provides all day protection. Make up compatible. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0013OMHTE/?tag=hyprod-20&hvadid=15467841579&hvpos=1o3&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=205708022546120735&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&ref=asc_df_B0013OMHTE

 

L’oreal Collagen Moisture Filler Cream-$9.98

Day and Night cream all in one. Beautiful hydrating, line filling and smoothing formula. http://www.walmart.com/ip/12444104?adid=22222222227000173424&wmlspartner=wlpa&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=&wl3=14043806230&wl4=&wl5=pla&veh=sem

 

Burt’s Bee’s Tinted Lip Balm-$6.99

Moisturizing lip balm and beautiful all in one. http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=327378&catid=300859&aid=338666&aparam=327378

 

NIP + FAB EYE FIX-$9.95

2 in 1 eye cream plus brightening concealer. Great for touch ups as well. http://www.target.com/p/nip-fab-eye-fix-2ml/-/A-13746552

 

These inexpensive miracle face fixers will help us stay gorgeous and help us stay on budget! Next month I’ll let you know about best budget body products!

 

See you at Target girls!

xo

Harvey

 

 

 

WOMEN WHO WRITE! MEET VICKI ABELSON AND HER FABULOUS LITERARY SALON!

I love women. I especially love fiery, funny, smart, outspoken women who are courageous enough to put their authentic selves out into the world. With no apologies, I might add, thank you very much! When I meet them I immediately want to jump into their back pocket or yummy handbag and watch them work their magic. I met one of these special Pixies just a few weeks ago! Settle in girls-It’s time for Harvey’s tea & back story!  Well, a few months back you might recall that I wrote a column on Christina Haag,  the fabulous author of the book “Come To The Edge“. Remember the delicious book about her love affair with JFK Jr.? Now out in paperback with a shirtless John John on the cover? If you don’t here it is! http://www.amazon.com/dp/0385523173/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=13115817225&ref=pd_sl_9de2pakczg_b

One morning while multi-tasking with coffee, an Erno Laszlo Hydra Therapy Mask and my lap top, an email popped up saying “Match Maker”. Long story short, Christina matched me with the incredible Vicki Abelson. After only 10 minutes, we had exchanged at least 20 emails and connected by phone! Yes girls, I’m in love and awe with this blonde brainy beauty!!! You’ll love her too! She’s been so supportive through the launch of my book “Blush: The Unbelievably Absurd Diary Of A Gay Beauty Junkie”! http://www.amazon.com/blush-unbelievably-absurd-beauty-junkie/dp/1477508813

 

Vicki Abelson’s Women Who Write literary salon features well known author’s, singer/songwriters, and emerging rising stars who read and perform from their intimate personal work! Vicki personally facilitates the festivities so you know you get the REAL story that didn’t end up on the page! Love it! Women Who Write is as much about the discussion between artist and audience as it is about the reading itself! This safe nurturing interplay lends itself to open, provocative discussion! Or as Vicki would say “A perfect storm of shared human experience”! Now you should know that Women Who Write isn’t just for women or just writers! Vicki is here to help promote artists! I’m so fortunate that she’s asked me to do a reading of “Blush” in November! More to come on that! Check her out! http://vickiabelson.com/site/Home.html

xo

Harvey

SOS! SPRING SHORT SHORTS ALERT!

Yes ladies! It’s that time of year again. Although winter is in high gear, you’re all very aware somewhere in the back of your subconscious that spring is just seconds away. As your Cyber Main Gay, it’s my yearly duty to point out to you that the warm weather will be here soon enough and it will be time for swim suits……and yes girls………this year’s biggest trend………SHORT SHORTS.  Before you down a whole bag of Oreo’s from the stress of it all, I’m here to give you hope. You can do this. I’ll tackle swim suits in another column to avoid any fashion nervous break downs.  First of all, they’re re not necessarily your MAMA’S DAISY DUKES!  These new modern SS’S come in variety of lengths, fabrics, textures, solids and prints so that you can participate in this trend. Be confident! Legs definitely are the feature focus so if you got them flaunt them. If you have leg issues like varicose veins, the dreaded cellulite, or super skinny legs then you’re in good company. Most women have some issue in this area. A fresh waxing plus some self-tanning cream instantly gives your legs a lift. You can do squats at the gym and hide veins with waterproof leg makeup like Dermablend as well. It’s up to you!

As far as HARVEY’S SHORT SHORT RULES, I only have three:

 

  1. If your ass is hanging out, they’re too short. Unless you’re in private with your significant other doing some fabulous moves on your newly installed stripper pole that Santa brought you for Christmas. Otherwise don’t wear them.

 

2.Short Shorts with pleats never work. They always make you look heavier and hippier or like the girl on the golf course that we can never understand. Is she or isn’t she? So I don’t care if manufacturers offer these pleated nightmares in a store near you! Back away from the pleated shorts!

 

  1. Shoes with Short Shorts. Flats for day, Wedge or heel for night. This always assures you that they can be appropriate. The only places this does not apply is Miami and Los Angeles. You girls always do what you want any way!

 

Here’s my early pick of short short cuteness from J Crew! ] link her] For girls on a budget, keep your eyes on Target! Next week I’ll be tackling the swim suit fun we’re getting ready to have.

Put that Oreo down immediately and go wax!

xo

Harvey

Life Without A Daily Shot Of Oprah?

For the last 25 years, there’s been a woman that we have quoted, admired and yes even some days idolized that is moving on. I know she’ll have  her OWN network but it sorts of feels like the loss of a sister who we could trust for everything from weight loss to the real celebrity dish. Yes my pretties for some reason I’m mourning Oprah!  I guess the biggest bummer is that I’ll never have the chance to be on her “Favorite Things” show! Like many of you, I dreamed of accidentally sitting in the audience to hear about “Menstrual cramps and how they can ruin your marriage!” , to be surprised to hear  Oprah scream PSYCHE! IT’S MY FAVORITE THINGS SHOW! After which we would all hyperventilate, throw up and leave Harpo Studios with a new car, a european cruise, Ralph Lauren Cashmere, and a year supply of Creme De La Mere! Now our dreams are dashed! Who will we watch now? Let’s look at our daytime alternatives! Just the girls! No Dr OZ or Dr Phil.

ELLEN– She’s my top pick because she’s funny and a great humanitarian. She’s also famous for her great give a ways! You never have to say Ellen’s last name to know which Ellen I’m speaking about. She has that in common with Oprah! Some days I get up and dance when she dances through her studio audience so I can count that as my cardio time too! ELLEN is definitely one stop shopping!

WENDY WILLIAMS– Love her too but disappointed with her performance on Dancing With The Stars.  I feel a little emotionally scarred after finding out that she’s a disco queen who can’t dance.  I’ll heal though because I felt the same way about Whitney Houston’s lack of grooving skills. Wendy gives good dish  so she’s definitely in the running!

TYRA BANKS- Gorgeous, smart woman who’s gotten better over the years. Just when you think you know Tyra, she switches it up leaving you stunned and breathless! Never count Miss Banks out!

There you have my top three picks Gorgeous! Let me know who you’d pick or if you have another fab TV Guru we should be checking out! Oprah is leaving such a big void that we may need to consider having two women to fill her shoes!

I miss Gail too!

xo

Harvey