Harvey Writes a Book!

b8c160_b66374831ad54036b7ee0b7d1e1c8fbd

Well Ladies, finally after 4 years of  blood, sweat, tears, boxes of Wheat Thins, and gobs of waterproof mascara, my book is finally launching! “blush: the unbelievably absurd diary of a gay beauty junkie” is now available! http://www.amazon.com/blush-unbelievably-absurd-beautyjunkie/dp/1477508813

In my next column I’ll give you all the dish on the book! But first girls, grab your favorite cocktail and read this! Oh, if you haven’t heard, check out SKINNY GIRL! Fab line of cocktails and wine that won’t make you calorie guilty!

So, I’m at a cocktail party with fabulous girls, where you know I get all my best ideas, and a woman with a dirty martini in hand says to me, “Congratulations on your book! You know Harvey, I think I should write a book about my life because it’s probably as twisted as yours!” In that moment I went into a magical dream sequence! You know when that happens on TV and the screen goes wavey and there’s some musical interlude that lets you know we’re leaving the present to venture to the unknown? The Twilight Zone?

I’m suddenly transported to New York City, sitting, looking out of my apartment window, typing away on my laptop about She Dragons, Man Drama and Lipstick. Yes ladies, I’ve now become “Harvey Bradshaw”, aka the “Gay Carrie Bradshaw” from Sex and the City! I adore Sara  Jessica Parker! Look at me! I immediately want to call Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda to meet for Cosmopolitans but I’m snapped back to the moment by the same  woman snapping her fingers in front of my face, asking  “HARVEY? WHERE ARE YOU??? I have a fashion emergency and I need your advice! What’s your favorite body smoother? Spanx or Yummy Tummy?”

In the cab going home I start to channel Carrie Bradshaw again. You know when she types the question into her laptop that lets us know what the Sex and the City episode will be about? Well the question I typed in my mind was “If we all think that our life would make a great story, how do I write and publish a book?” After my 4 year adventure I can now give you some shortcuts. First let me say that it’s not the way you imagine it! So Gorgeous, with the millions of fab women I know, I bet you might be asking the same question! Since your Cyber Main Gay always wants to help you with any or all of your endeavors, let me give you a short cut based on my experience!

HARVEY’S TOP 5 SHORTCUTS TO WRITING AND PUBLISHING A BOOK!

  1. The only way you can write a book is to sit down at your computer and write! I know that might sound strange but you have to physically sit down every day and write. Schedule your writing time the way you do everything else in your life! I joined a Library so that I could have a place to go to make me more accountable. This is where Carrie Bradshaw and I differ. If I’m at home, I’ll do everything thing else to avoid writing. Plus the potato chips are more easily accessible in the kitchen cabinet when I’m at home. The library doesn’t like all that crunching so it saved my waistline!
  1. Don’t edit until you’ve finished telling the story! Whether you are producing nonfiction memoir based writing as I have or an incredible fiction piece you dreamed up in your mind! Finish telling the whole story and produce version 1 of your manuscript! Trust me on this! My book took 22 versions before it was finally published! The writing process will require editing later by a professional who can see your manuscript with fresh eyes! I have a friend who’s been working on the same book for 12 years! Save yourself the stress.

3.Research and decide how you want to publish your manuscript! I saved this till number three because I want you to use all of your creative energy writing. It’s not easy and you have to stay focused and persevere! Now that you have produced your first manuscript it time to think about how to get it out there. Don’t be afraid! The big question is “Do I write a book proposal, find a Literary Agent, and have them submit to publishers? OR Do I self-publish? My advice is to pursue both. You never know! I was beyond lucky because I met Jillian Manus, who owns her own Literary agency, at a Charity gala she was hosting that I was covering for Betty Confidential! With her amazing guidance, we decided that I should self-publish because of the time it takes to get a book to market! Unless your Lady Gaga! Although publishers were interested I didn’t want to wait 18 months! It’s a personal decision. Here’s a link to Jillian’s site that is packed full of info on agents, book proposals and everything publishing to help  you  make the right decision for your manuscript! Also, a link on how to self-publish as I did so you can get started!

http://www.manuslit.com/flash/index.html

http://reviews.cnet.com/8301-18438_7-10119891-82/self-publishing-a-book-25-things-you-need-to-know/

  1. Create a platform for yourself starting today! Whether you decide to go the traditional route or self-publishing you have to promote yourself! Publishers first question will be “How many books could be sold today if we publish it?” Start a blog! Blog about you and your subject! I thank my lucky gay stars for Betty Confidential! Create your own web site! It’s easier and more affordable than you think! Social media is critical to your success! Facebook will change from the place of seeing your crazy cat pics to a place where people can connect to find out what you’re doing and hopefully build interest in your book. Sign up for all things social media! Especially Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and google +. You must have a way to get your book out there!
  1. Realize that if you’re writing and publishing a book, then everyone you know is doing it too through you! This journey is personal and full of unknowns! This will be all you will think and speak about for quite a while! Your friends and family will be on this roller coaster with you so please try to remember that they are not doing this. You are. Without Jason, Kathy, Kaycee, Andy,Allyson, Diana,Michealene, Rich, PJ, April, Deborah, Shaun, Norma, Philip, Stephanie, Oreo the wonder dog and a host of other special angels I couldn’t have done this. When things get crazy…and they will….know that their friendships are the most important thing you have.

Okay gorgeous! Get writing. Look for my next column on my juicy book next week! It’s the perfect hot summer read!!!

See you at the book club!

xo

Harvey

Meet Harvey Helms, Your Cyber Man Gay

Almost every woman I’ve known in my life has at least one gay man that they go to for friendship and advice on beauty, fashion trends, boyfriend drama or for the real answer to the question “Do I look fat in this?” or “Do you really think he’ll call now that I slept with him on the first date?” Oh, the drama of living! The gays love the drama! You trust your gay man because he always tells you the truth. Always. You’ve probably heard him say things like: “Sweet Pea, you might want to consider brighter lighting in your bathroom considering how much bronzer you have on today, okay ‘Miss Miami?’” or “Your Grandmother called and wants that Christmas sweater back! Didn’t I dispose of that sweater the last time we went through your closet, Precious?” Whether you realized it or not, this man is what’s known as your “Main Gay.” Actress/Comedian Kathy Griffin coined this phrase. If she didn’t, I’m giving her credit because I adore her. Now I’m not trying to make Kathy’s Main Gay jealous. Gay men are very territorial with the women to whom they ‘re in service. We take it very seriously! We are not opposed to the occasional Main Gay cat fight either!

As you’re probably already aware, your Main Gay sometimes isn’t always available when you need him. He may have just met the “Boy du Jour” and he says “No really!! I think he’s the one!” and has to see his new man 24 hours a day. Or he’s had to go back to rehab for a few weeks to take care of a little addiction problem. That’s okay, because I’ve always said “Talented people are always addicted to something.” Genius has its price. Go figure. Besides, when you visit him in rehab, you never know if you’ll run into Lindsay Lohan, David Duchovny or Liza. It just ups his celebrity quotient! We love that.

So here I am. Harvey Helms. Stylist. Culturalist. Up and coming author of a juicy cosmetic tell all. I’m your new “Cyber Main Gay.” Think of me when your main gay is not around in a fashion emergency or when you need up-to-the-minute info on a number of global issues like lip gloss, oil control, body smoothers or the mother-in-law from hell. I’ve been married three times and could write volumes on how I was treated by the Wicked Witch because I married “The Golden Child” by whom the sun rises and sets.

Why should you trust me? …

Well first you’re going to see me at my worst after an Active FX Laser treatment [Check out the actual process with my flip commentary in my upcoming column!] and I’ve got a list of achievements a mile long which you can read at your own leisure in my bio. But here’s what you really need to know:

I’m a self-professed beauty junkie and shopaholic. I shop every day. Neiman’s (NMGA), Sephora (LVMHY), Crate & Barrel (GGP), TJ Maxx (TJX) . . . Everywhere. If you need something I know where to get it.

I know every product and trend and chances are I’ve tried it all myself. My closets and bathrooms are like warehouses. I know the moment you look in the mirror and think “My eye cream isn’t working anymore.” Hello, it’s time for the Doctor or a fabulous licensed medical skin spa.

I also have a savvy network of “Friends” who know the next trends and which designer is doing what! I edit these trends by body type to turn them from “Scareable to wearable.” I also know which designers are having nervous breakdowns or are off to rehab. It can affect the fashion collections you know.

I will always tell you the truth. With some good natured humor thrown in. I was raised by a southern belle, so I come by it honestly. But most importantly, I love women. I love everything girls do. I guess I realized this when I tried on my oldest sister’s “Dyed to match” pink satin prom heels. By the way, no one has ever ever asked me if I was gay . . . except my Mother. But she did it out of southern belle common courtesy. When I speak, a fabulous Prada hand bag or a bouquet of flowers falls out of my mouth. No closet for me to hide in.

When your Main Gay is not around, there’s no need to get anxious! I’m just a few clicks away on BettyConfidential.com. I’ve always loved this site prior to becoming a columnist. In my bi-weekly column, I’ll be covering everything from beauty to style to interiors and special events. I’ll be introducing you to women [and a few men] who are the real deal and make living on the planet more fabulous. With some juicy dish and you “Heard it here first” info thrown in. I’ve always hated being the last to be in the know. I know you hate it too.

Please feel free to ask your questions in the comment section below about anything: beauty, interiors, men . . . well anything really! If I don’t know the answer, I’ll find it for you. You can also look forward to some incredible beauty perks over the next year. I’ll be telling you more about a program called “Harvey sent me” so that you can get more fabulousness for your money! It doesn’t get better than that.

So here’s a toast to our new cyber relationship gorgeous! As your new “Cyber Main Gay,” I pledge to you that your well-being and beauty is my top priority.

Loving Air Kisses for no smudging,

Harveysf-bloomies-21-2-jpg